From an early age I can remember being told by my parents, family members and teachers to “think positive”.
Whether exam results, football matches or even just whatever Santa might bring down the chimney for Christmas. Think positive and it might happen.
Its one of those things that we are told that always stay with us, but kind of go in one ear and out the other, like “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” or “too many cooks spoil the broth”, of course these are all true, and we believe them, however I’ve never really looked too deeply into it. Until now….
For anyone who has read any of my blogs previously you’ll know they all centre around my addiction, relapses and my recovery and my story so far. I’ve been open about my drug use, my social life, my successes, my failures and my uncanny ability to hit the self destruct button .
This one is no exception, and it seems only relevant to discuss the “think positive” notion as I’m probably in the best place mentally than I’ve been for years. In terms of possessions, I probably have less now than I’ve done for at least a decade but what I do have is worth more than any money or materialist items that I’ve ever owned, which ultimately didn’t have any bearing on my happiness.
What I currently own is the ability to think positive in every situation, no matter how big or small, turning every negative into a positive and this has subsequently had a profound affect on my life.
If you have been an addict, maybe you’re still an addict or even just for those around people in addiction, the sheer idea of thinking positive is completely alien, in fact us addicts are fantastic at looking at the negatives in everything, seeking self pity, “why oh why has this happened to me”, “nothing is going right for me” “everyone is out to hurt me” blah blah blah. I was the master at this, I really was, and for a long time all of that negativity that I was putting out there I was getting back tenfold.
I left rehab in October last year, and despite putting in the hard work over 4 months and hundreds of therapy hours, the reality is I didn’t believe that I would make it once I left, especially not on my own, I pinned a lot of hopes on others and I simply didn’t believe in myself. I believed I was owed support from others, and when I didn’t get it the self pity that I was so good at, began again, and it was no coincidence that the events that followed were all negative. A broken marriage, separation from my daughter, losing my job and back in the spiral of addiction, feeling suicidal, locked in the pit of hell, somewhere even Satan would refuse to go.
Why did all this happen? Is it because the world is conspiring against me? Is it because I’ve just been unlucky? or is it because I just keep thinking that things are going to go wrong and they actually are.
This got me thinking about the the “think positive” thing again , and more recently I’ve explored this deeper by looking at the Law of Attraction with my therapist in my rehab where I still attend for support on a weekly basis
I don’t want to go too deeply into the science of the law of attraction, because essentially it is physics based and I could talk about positively charged atoms and magnetic waives and frequencies, but I am not well enough qualified to talk about all that, but one thing I do know it makes a whole lot of sense when put in Lehman terms and when I relate it to my own personal journey, it all just resonates with me deeply.
For the first time in probably over 10 years I believe that good things are going to happen consistently, and they are, I believe that I don’t need to use drugs and I don’t, I believe that I will be happy and I am.
Now its not as black and white as thinking “I want to be rich” so then you’ll win the lottery, because riches to me at this stage of my life are things like getting through the day without thinking about drugs, connecting more with my daughter on an emotional level, hearing her say “I love you Daddy” and just feeling alive every day., now that’s just me but being rich means something different to everyone.
I’ve mentioned earlier all the negative thoughts and self pity that I put out to the universe and I got them back. I am now putting nothing but positive frequencies out there and they are all coming back and everything is aligning just nicely. Good things happening, opportunities arising, when i’m not expecting them, and people reaching out to me unlike last time where I expected it, but this time its happening because I’m putting myself out there and making the effort.
Everyone will have their different views on this, some will agree this is the law of attraction, some might say that its a higher power or spirituality and some sceptics may just say its luck or coincidence, whichever way you look at it I know from my own personal experience both past and present that what you put you put out there you get back in some form and the law of attraction is a law that has ruled my life consistently, through good and bad especially based on my thinking throughout my addiction and now recovery. It’s only now that I see it.
I currently have one pair of jeans, a few pairs of old shoes and some worn out shirts, but I’m clean and believe that I’ll stay that way because I can, and want to, that’s not me being arrogant that’s just me thinking positive, then it will happen.
After I relapsed and checked myself into rehab for the second time, I became a big believer of positive affirmations. I had spent so long being called a junkie that eventually I believed it myself and would call myself a junkie, then to have to start telling yourself everyday, in the mirror that “you deserve to be happy” was very uncomfortable at first but after a while, I began to buy into it more, then I even started to believe it, but I think to take it to the next level I’ve tweaked that positive affirmation slightly from “I deserve to be happy” to “I will be happy” just that slight difference in the use of the language I’ve used towards myself is telling the universe that I will be happy and you know what, It is starting to happen and I can feel it and see the results.
I’m in the recovery stage of my journey, I will continue to be positive, believe that good things will happen, turn negatives into positives and I will continue to be happy!
I am currently a rich man, not financially, but receiving my riches by being alive and loving myself..
Thanks to the power of positive thinking and a little help from the universe.